with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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