Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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