bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
