please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
