i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
