My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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