...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
