mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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