i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
