i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
