I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's shark week go big or go home
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
