your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
