Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
