She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
