when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
