ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
