You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
