How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
