I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
