I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
