actually, I'm a sock model
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
