You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
