I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
