You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
