I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
