I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
