ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
