I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
