omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
