the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
