Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
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