judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
