She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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