Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Its about making memories worth repressing
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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