Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
