you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
