And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
