he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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