Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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