you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
