You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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