I cockslap morals
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
