Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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