Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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