you would pick up someone in the library
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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