Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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