actually, I'm a sock model
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
