we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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