I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
