She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
