The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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