sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
